Doggies, working and doctors-oh my!

Yesterday the boys read Magic, Witchcraft and Religion plus a knitting how-to book. Today it was How to Say It. They're just so damn smart. Oddly enough they didn't chew up the books but simply pulled them off the shelf. Buster hid one of the books under the living room rug though. Weirdos.

My dad was watching Radiohead on tv the other day and sort of liked it. RAD. Then my mom said she hated it. Growl. Now he's getting an Iphone. I swear he's going to be more of a hipster than that dude you always see in tight faded black jeans, a mexian western style button up w/pearl buttons shirt and greasy hair in the Waterloo check out line. He's got those cool black retro glasses too. WTF? I swear if he says to me, "have you heard the new Tv on the Radio?", I'm going to pass out. Which by the way is a great album. A lot less weird and more pop.

I'm totally annoyed with work. This super cool/smart chick that builds our shows on the ticketing system for us, quit. No one fought to keep her hard working brilliant ass so my boss, a co-worker and myself are learning to build shows. Literally from scratch. When you go to a ticketing website and see all the maps and choose your tickets and read all the messages on the pages and so on, that's just a part of what I've been learning this week. Remember I'm not a tech type employee. Selling tickets and doing all the other shit I do takes effort and knowledge but a well trained monkey could do it. Now I'm learning html and all sorts of other intricate software, stuff. Seriously, I don't know what to call it. My head spins a little when I do it or think about it. Or dream it. (sad) It's not like I don't get it but it's so much information I'm starting to feel like a little old lady that needs you slow down and REALLY explain what the web address is saying with all those characters. It reminds me of that movie Outsourced. All of a sudden it's like I'm just a robot and very easily replacable. Damn I wish I had real talent. I want to be a professional syncronized swimmer or something. Why can't Ecover sponsor me? Huh?

My gastrointerologist is a tiny, oddly dressed, round spectacle wearing dork. He's a nice guy but I didn't learn anything I didn't regurgitate or know. Although when watching him read my lab work and then assessing it and knowing what it adds up to was impressing. I wasn't impressed for a doctor but impressed in general. Just thinking about how much he has to know on a moments notice about the technical and then translate to the individual is astounding. There's a lot of organs he's in charge of, you know? There are so many diseases, conditions and factors that I cannot imagine how pathetic his life must be. I wish I was a doctor but I came to the conclusion long ago that I'm not smart enough. Well, I am but I'd have to work harder than the average med student. And I'm not passionate or motivated enough. Once you become a doctor and really understand your specialty you have to constantly read charts and pop quiz, you better get it right. Plus keep up w/new technology, research, take tons of work home blah blah. How do they do it? The human mind is unbelievable. That's all I was getting at. Oh and it was a waste of time for me to see him until I have another sono or ct which will happen in November with the oncologist. So then I'm going to see him in December. No birth control. All the alcohol I want and need.

Back to work.

How Do They Do It?

My dogs are out of control. Officially.

Yesterday we came home and a book was shredded. I took a deep breath and asked Chris what it was and since he wasn't being helpful I grabbed it and it was Sedaris, again. The same book not another one of his novels. I put it on a shelf with approximately 20 other books and pushed it in as I would any other book. I thought I'd just keep it and laugh about it later. Some how Buster picked it out of the other books, grabbed it and continued to tear it up. How is this possible?

How is it also possible for him to get a hold of something in a slot that's not taller than the top of the slot? Without knocking it over! It's like he's got an opposable thumb or he's secretly or an aye aye and kabobed the hidden dvd.

Then the little shit waited until Chris left for work last night and I was in the office downloading music and got into the kitchen trash. I actually smacked him on the butt. I immediately felt guilty and apologized but he was already mad at me for hitting him. Sigh. This is my life. They may be headed back to their crates.

Dog Gone List

The list of things now gone via the dogs.

1. A wooden and plastic embroidery hoop.
2. Two borrowed blue ray dvd cases.
3. Smarty Pants game case.
4. Many rolls of toilet paper.
5. Tons of plastic bags.
6. Newest Sedaris hardback.
7. Quite a few trash filled bags. (our fault)
8. Thermometer covers. (plastic and paper box)
9. Texas law book.
10. Scrabble dictionary.
11. A few socks.
12. A pair of panties.
13. 5 hemp collars.
14. A leash.
15. Paper. Bills, receipts, etc.
16. Entire bag of cod treats. Plastic bag too. (It's smelled like fish for a week.)
17. Bag of chicken jerky. (their treats)
18. Bag of doggy cookies. Luckily it was a huge one from Costco so they couldn't finish them all. Just too much to consume. After all that jerky.


Every time we come home from an excursion we open the door hoping the interior of the house is still in tact. Often times there's something chewed up on the couch. It's not uncommon for vomiting and diarrhea to surface after these bouts of destruction. This morning Buster threw up and there were little pieces of my embroidery hoop in it. If only that made things better.

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb....DUMB

I just realized that the port-a-cath that my aunt is having put in today is the same one that my mom had. It's like all of that left my brain and just made an appearance in my gray matter to synapse back into reality.

Duh.com

My mom had the line on her chest and they'd just hook up the chemo IV bag there and push push away. Why I didn't remember this I have no clue. I think I was even there when she got it removed. OUCH!

Today I'm in allergy hell. I don't think alavert is going to cut it anymore. I look like Taradolph the Red Nosed Mexican. I think I'm going home early to rest, take more drugs and attempt to sleep away the pain of my throbbing nose.

Good news. My mom went for another check up yesterday with her oncologist and she's healthy. I'm so happy and yet still pained by the cancer living in so many people these days.

Will that be hardback or paperback?

I hate this time of year. The weather starts to ease up a bit and inevitably I become a walking advertisement for allergy medication. I've been taking allavert since August and so its not as bad but man I feel icky. Not like someone just stabbed me with a giant needle icky but icky.

We celebrated Jen's birthday Saturday night at Gene's and later went to Mohawk. All in all it was a fabulous night. I drank too much but I had every intention of doing so and accomplished that mission. I even got the good old hiccups. That's when I knew I had to stop. Gross. Sunday was spent being hung over and then dealing w/the aftermath of being outside all night w/o extra allergy medication. It was lovely.

Buster and Jocko decided to teach me a lesson and not only knocked over the kitchen chair but got a hold of the book I'm currently reading and gave it a good chew. It was hardback (they prefer those) and new and now I'm missing pages 282 to 301. Super. It's now a paperback. You cannot eat a Sedaris book!

A distant relative died of cancer this weekend. Cancer needs to take a hike.

Ike and Galveston Turn Over

I know a lot of people came into the city to flee the storm. So I understand the influx of people and need for food and shelter. I don't understand why people in Austin were acting as if we were going to be directly hit. They've been saying for many days that it was going to be north east of us. I realize storms can be unpredictable but come on. It's not like we were going to be wading through our front yards.

I canceled my Pampered Chef party because people were being weird about going out today. I didn't hear a lot of direct complaining but the city was a buzz. My cousin canceled his 30th birthday party tonight and we're not even getting much rain.

We're still going to celebrate Jennifer's 30th though! Yay. I cannot wait to have some po' boys and liquor.

We're in limbo waiting to hear from Chris' family who refused to leave Houston, La Porte, Deerpark and Clear Lake. Last we heard it was okay in NW Houston but I fear that's not the case in La Porte where there was a mandatory evacuation. I know its an inconvenience and expensive to leave your homes but at the very least you'll be without power for a few days. Ick. In this humidity, heat and wet weather! That's enough reason for me to leave my shit behind.

Anyway, I hope all your loved ones are safe and dry.

On another note, my aunt is beginning treatment for cancer this coming week. She's going to have a port-a-cath and a programed chemo via that line. I've never heard of this and don't have any details but I'm worried about her. Everyone else seems to be optimistic in a way that I haven't quite reached. Liver cancer is very dangerous, serious, scary and uncertain. I'm hoping for the best and still cautious with my gut feelings.

I love that we're not really going to get much rain. It's fucking hilarious that people were still freaked out last night when clearly Ike wasn't coming our way. 16mph winds---whoa. Stay home and drink your bottled water. So silly.

Bittersweet

I'm back to my old chubby self and happy to not feel anything. Physical oddities I mean. There's a lot of questions I need answered and also news.


What's with that song on the radio, "Cuddy Buddy" and are we seriously allowing radio to play something that suggests that the singer is cumming all over this girl? What the hell? I was dumbfounded by the lyrics. Normally I don't listen to the radio but when I do I admit I like to listen to some crappy rap that makes me laugh. This time I was confused and then disgusted. I'm no prude but if I was jizzed on and then it became a song on the radio I'd be a little annoyed. I can't even talk about it any longer. It's gross.

My aunt has cancer. Again. I feel guilty. I had a liver biopsy on a Wednesday and she had hers on that Friday. I got good news and she got bad news. I just don't know how to feel. The usual anger and overwhelming feeling of despair, yes. The guilt I wasn't expecting to feel has been similar to a brick in my stomach. I feel like I should have been the cancer patient. It was my turn to take the brunt of the cancer plaugue. You shouldn't have to continue fighting the fight. Once is enough, thank you. January will be my mothers 5 years w/o cancer mark which is huge. Why couldn't my aunt have made it to hers? This is my mom's younger sister. She's put on her brave face and is positive that it'll respond to treatment and she'll move on. I just wish she didn't have to do this again. Luckily she was having check ups every 6 months so they caught it early. I don't have many details but this news is enough to put my brain in time out for a while.

I don't have anything uplifting or funny today. I'm living a bittersweet moment in time. I hope the feeling passes and I can channel some good old fashioned seratonin love.

Mmmm Mmmm Good

Today I feel like a normal human being. It's super. I won't take that for granted again.

I saw some girlfriends last night and it's always nice to share time with people who have seen you go through the highs and lows. It's interesting to grow into very different people yet be able to voice your ideas and concerns with out hitting a wall. Well, most of the time. It's amazing to know there are so many people on your side even when you don't know it. It's fun to hear good news too. I'll leave it at that. Wink to my noodle soup sipper.

If you haven't seen the movie Choke, you should. I just realized that it's not out yet and I saw a preview. Sorry. Go see it when it comes out. Based on a Chuck Palaniuk book (Fight Club).

If you haven't listened to The Roy Hargrove Quintet, do it. The Mexican Institute of Sound isn't bad either. You don't have to be Mexican.

Yes, I really am this bored. Back to Sedaris.

Natural Birth Control

Babysitting. The other white pill. (it's not supposed to make sense)

I watched Noah and Nick last night and man-o-man is that a great reminder that I cannot tolerate children for long. I know if they're yours its different but I'm willing to guess at least 50% of the time I wouldn't care that they were from my uterus. If I had them.

They're not even bad kids. They're just kids. Demanding and smart. You can't ignore them because they just come and tell you weird shit or yell for you. You can't ignore them because that's child abuse. Well a light form but I don't see the point in having them if you're not going to pay attention. That's just setting the world up for another psycho or a-hole. (just take a peek at my office pool)

Nick was watching tv and quietly existing. Noah did pretty well entertaining himself too. Then all of a sudden there was a dirty diaper. I start to change it and its no big deal. But as I'm cleaning up his bum and admiring his rolls---he farts. Little punk. Watching a fart come outta a baby's butt isn't cute.

The next task. Dinner. Noah sucks down his meal and Nick informs me he's hungers. So I ask him what he'd like and I get the cereal response. I know it isn't bad to eat cereal because I know its healthy but I'm thinking let's try something more nutritious. So I ask what he had for lunch. He can't remember and is irked that I want him to eat something else. I begin listing possibilities. Fruit, milk, cheese, tomatoes, blah blah. No, no, no. I said why don't you have a taco. That's what your parents ate for dinner. He tells me he only eats healthy food. Not the first time I've heard this tune. To which I cleverly reply (so I think), "It is healthy. It's organic hamburger meat that has little fat and you can top it with tomatoes, lettuce and avocado; all of which are vital to daily nutrition." I remind him about his omegas, licopene and vitamin c. He denies it. He tells me, "So sorry. I don't want that." What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I take a deep breath and search for more food. He gives into a kiddie frozen dinner. To which I willingly make because it takes no effort on my part and he's happy. However I do remind him that its high in sodium and probably processed on some level which isn't healthy in comparison to the tacos which are ready to eat! (He looks at me, smiles and walks to his table.) Then he announces while I'm back to feeding the tiny dude that he is thirsty. (and it begins all over again)

Such a simple task but so much patience. I'm exhausted from having this conversation with him. I look at the clock. 7:30pm. Bed time is at 8:30pm.

I'm still feeling tired and my insides are a little unhappy at times. I got home after the sitting and my right ovary decided to send shots of pain for what felt like an eternity. Walking hurt. Damn ovary. You better be sending a dead ova down my tube!

Then the dogs crawl on top of me and I fight for a small spot on a bed that could sleep 3 humans. What the hell is wrong with this picture? I need to lay down the doggie law. When I can bend and not ache, I will.

I'm consistently running a low grade fever too. It's not cause for alarm but just enough to make me wonder from time to time if my liver is still trying to heal itself after such a traumatic needle poke. Liver tears are blood and that's never a good thing.

A little late

My oncologist's nurse just called to tell me to get off birth control. Duh.com Old news. I cannot believe I have an oncologist. Weird.

I hope to see everyone soon but am very overwhelmed by being the center of attention. Normally I'd be telling dirty jokes at the center of attention and not answering questions about biopsies and being open to hugs and well wishes. It'd odd being temporarily, possibly and awkwardly ill. But not.
Well, I do have a tumor. It's not like it flew south for the winter. Not yet but hopefully. Winter being the rest of my life.

I desperately want all of this behind me. I desperately do not want to get knocked up while waiting for this tumor to shrink.

I don't think I've ever been this desperate. How can anyone live here? Ugh.

There seriously is nothing else going on in my life. I'm consumed by the awareness of my liver. Turns out it likes rum and whiskey but isn't too fond of vino verde. How can it dislike wine? It better wise up soon. I'm thirsty.

Seriously?

I'm closer to being 100 percent Tara again which is a great feeling. However yesterday I learned that my aunt who had colon cancer almost 4 years ago now has a lesion on her liver and had a biopsy Friday. What is going on? This is terrible news. Certainly it could be nothing but in someone who's had cancer, liver lesions move into a whole new category. I'm concerned and I hope she gets good news soon.

This coming up week is going to be lame. Holiday week blues and sitting in an uncomfortable chair for many hours. I hope its back to a boring life for me. I really do.

Labor Day is grand. Chopped BBQ beef sandwiches for all!