Bittersweet

I'm back to my old chubby self and happy to not feel anything. Physical oddities I mean. There's a lot of questions I need answered and also news.


What's with that song on the radio, "Cuddy Buddy" and are we seriously allowing radio to play something that suggests that the singer is cumming all over this girl? What the hell? I was dumbfounded by the lyrics. Normally I don't listen to the radio but when I do I admit I like to listen to some crappy rap that makes me laugh. This time I was confused and then disgusted. I'm no prude but if I was jizzed on and then it became a song on the radio I'd be a little annoyed. I can't even talk about it any longer. It's gross.

My aunt has cancer. Again. I feel guilty. I had a liver biopsy on a Wednesday and she had hers on that Friday. I got good news and she got bad news. I just don't know how to feel. The usual anger and overwhelming feeling of despair, yes. The guilt I wasn't expecting to feel has been similar to a brick in my stomach. I feel like I should have been the cancer patient. It was my turn to take the brunt of the cancer plaugue. You shouldn't have to continue fighting the fight. Once is enough, thank you. January will be my mothers 5 years w/o cancer mark which is huge. Why couldn't my aunt have made it to hers? This is my mom's younger sister. She's put on her brave face and is positive that it'll respond to treatment and she'll move on. I just wish she didn't have to do this again. Luckily she was having check ups every 6 months so they caught it early. I don't have many details but this news is enough to put my brain in time out for a while.

I don't have anything uplifting or funny today. I'm living a bittersweet moment in time. I hope the feeling passes and I can channel some good old fashioned seratonin love.