I haven't been blogging for fear that I would ruin a friends vacation. I can't see why she'd check my blog but on the off chance that she did I didn't want to upset her. Now that I have some news it doesn't seem as scary although I don't personally feel all that better about it.
My MRI baffled the radiologist and my family physician. What we thought would be a simple hemangioma turned out to have a dense portion w/in the mass. It's inconclusive enough to warrant further investigation. He referred me to an oncologist since he isn't a specialist.
Yesterday I went to my mom's oncologist, Dr. Kasper, at Texas Oncology. I never thought I'd be in that building again. In my own shoes. Filling out the paperwork reminded me of the terrifying day I'd been helping my mom with hers. I was warm and clammy. I hadn't had more than two bites of cereal and a latte and it was 330pm.
I sit at the dreaded patient services desk talking about insurance and coverage. I get a folder w/information that says, "FIGHT CANCER." I want to bolt.
So there Chris and I go into the exam room. Oh wait. I forgot to tell you that I'm running a fever. They take it twice and its 100. Really?
We talk to Billie, the nurse, and Dr. Kasper. They're both wondering what idiot referred me here to waste their time. Okay that's what their faces seem to be saying. However a few things that I hadn't considered come up. Fatigue the last few months, bruising, my headaches. All of a sudden I think, "oh shit, I've got cancer." To which I'm reminded that it's not much by way of the liver. It's a stretch. He doesn't understand why I've got this mass and no real health problems.
So he decides that we need to run some tests. A CBC(complete blood count), AFP(alpha-fetoprotein) and CEA(carcinoembryonic antigen). The CBC will look at my blood cells in numbers and types of cells. The AFP detects tumors of liver and ovaries in my case. The CEA measures protein in the blood that's affiliated with cancer (typically colon, pancreas, breast and ovary).
The reason for these tests is that its abnormal to get liver cancer. Unlikely. People with liver cancer usually have cancer in another organ/tissue and it metastasizes to the liver. I don't have any symptoms of any cancer thus far but these tests in conjunction with one another will give us a clue if anything questionable is going on. It's still not enough though.
Wednesday I will have a CT directed biopsy of the liver mass. My condition is medically coded as hepatic lesions. I feel like a fucking AIDS patient all of a sudden. Anyway, it's a 15 minute simple procedure. I'll be consciously sedated. Silly and won't remember anything. I'm going in to Seton Main at 1030am, the biopsy is at 1pm and I should be out of there an hour or two later and only be sore. Chris will drive me home and I'm sure I'll lay around feeling even more anxious for results. You think think they'll give me more of the conscious sedation for my liesurely needs?
What I'm saying is that the oncologist is baffled by my overall good health and this tumor in bmy liver. He wants to make sure he's not overlooking something because I look healthy and feel okay but he is concerned about what this mass could entail.
I'm not holed up and bawling every minute but I'm not sleeping well and suddenly very aware of my damn liver and my back hurts. He did karate chop my back and asked if it hurt. It didn't.
I drank a glass and a half of wine, didn't enjoy it and when I wasn't even thinking about my liver I swear I felt it throb. It's all in my mind, I know. If you have a way to shut down my brain please let me know. I'm willing to try.
I'll update after the biopsy but I won't have any new information until Friday. Another week in the lap of limbo.
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